Lost After Graduation

[BLINGMW]

Not adding much here beyond, "Fucking GO. Anywhere." but I'll just chime in that at 37, back near Roanoke with two kids and house, I only appreciate being here by trying other places and other jobs. I've had ~10 jobs in 3 fields and am about to majorly upset that apple cart again because long term I've found every experience ended up being a positive one. :dunno:

[WRXtranceformed]

For those stuck at home in mom's basement, you don't even have to sell everything you own and leave on a vision quest to change your situation. Surely you have friends in other states / possibly other countries? A really easy way to broaden your horizons a little would be to take some vacation time from work and go visit them. That's exactly how I ended up down in Charlotte; granted I had been planning a move out of NOVA for a while but I had friends who moved down here years ago that I visited for fun several times to get away from work. After I realized how much better the weather was here, how much nicer the people were, and how much cheaper the cost of living is to be in the nicest parts of town it was a no brainer for me. I would have never known how awesome it is here, and I never would have met my friends and my wife, if I hadn't left sleepy little Purcellville, VA for someplace better. Or just go on vacation somewhere better than where you are now. Book a cruise to Europe or the Caribbean and go travel.

Granted, I have seen plenty of people live in the same town as their families, grow up with their neighbors and their neighbors' kids, marry, breed and die generation after generation while living a fairly average and "low stress" life. That is fine, the world needs average people as well. But if there's even a spark in you that is discontent with being average Bluecollar Joe then you owe it to yourself to scratch that itch and broaden your experiences.

[Jake]

take some vacation time from work and go visit them

+1.

It's helped me think/realize where I'd want to go next, or at least the general type of climate/location I'd be looking for.

I'm definitely not one to talk, given I grew up within 45 minutes of where I live and work now. My rationale is that I'm biding my time in the area to get more experience in my field. Living so close to DC now really has kept me grounded to the Arlington/Alexandria/DC area and it's honestly felt like I moved farther than I did. That said, I know I don't want this to be my "forever" home so I do think fairly frequently about where I'd go.

[Tyler.M]

Great advice all around. I've taken everyone's advice to heart and will be heading to Florida this month and the West Coast in August/ beginning of September to explore. I think everyone is spot on but I want to reiterate a point Rexicles made: I know that I am very blessed and I have lived a charmed life. The fact that I was born in a place that offers quite a bit with a family that supports is something I never take for granted. That being said, there's so much of this world that I need to explore and see with my own two eyes....If I don't see it my understanding of the world I live in will be largely incomplete. I'm doing things now to prepare myself for the journey to wherever I go, becoming fluent in Spanish after never taking a lick in college, writing, programming, teaching myself business. It's weird but I feel like I'm in my second college experience and my graduation is leaving Rocktown for good. I don't know what I want my career to be in, but I've always been good with money, love riding motorcycles and want to develop my own business/investme rs that lets me remain mobile most of the year. Some people can do that right out of school with the right skills; I have to go back and teach myself all of these things many of you kick ass at and think are mundane uses of your intellect. Which it probably is, but it's so intimidating to me it seems exceptionally challenging. I'm learning to love the area that I'm in now and use it and my network to develop myself to move and that helps.... but mini vacations to explore is my next step. Migbt even drop my impressions of the places I visit in this thread for shits and giggles...


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[Goodspeed]

Great advice all around. I've taken everyone's advice to heart and will be heading to Florida this month and the West Coast in August/ beginning of September to explore.

Word! I'm going to be meandering from LA to Seattle for 2.5 weeks in August too, as I've just about had my fill of this area (maybe a couple more years) and then I'm out. Going to get a general feel as an adult as I haven't been in 5+ yrs (used to visit family out there a lot though growing up). LMK if you need any travel ideas or what have you.

You'll also find that you will be a much better student at your age now than you ever were in college.

[ScottyB]

i'm 33 and lucked out in that i know exactly what i've want to do and i'm doing it, its just the whole "making a living doing it" part that's a challenge :lol: and i'll probably be working on that my whole life.

stop worrying about knowing what you want to do. almost nobody falls directly out of college into the perfect position in the perfect field that they felt they were destined for with any element of speed or certainty. and even then, its almost never a straight path. those lucky few usually have connections that were forged by older generations or fortunate circumstance.

i think the core of that "no wind in the sails" feeling is that you have no goals, or at least defined goals that aren't nebulous. Lee already said it better than i did, but any goal, no matter how ambiguous, will at least set you on a course to take initiative and help you get the wheels turning so that you can experience new things, learn, and meet people. from there you just gotta put in to get out...and you will. to find those goals it sounds clear that you need to assess all your options that life can provide and you'll never catch but a passing glimpse at it sitting in the same safe, cozy place you always have.

be brave. self assessment and introspection are admirable but don't mistake it for bravery. you have two major gifts that all are given but some never take advantage of which is youth and time. if you really want to find your answers, there's no better time to strike out on your own. get away from the things that make you complacent, and leave all the social media nonsense behind you because its a great way to distract yourself and crush your self confidence.

when i graduated back in the old days i never thought i'd live in a city. i never thought i'd live 8 hours from home. never thought i'd move 5 times. never thought working for an air conditioning supply company would set me up for a freelance career. and even now i never thought i'd actually have the guts to step over the line and own my own company. none of that stuff was in "the plan" and it certainly wasn't any path to fame and fortune. but i learned a lot about life, myself, and how much it helps to have a group of friends/family behind me that care about me, because when the chips are down they are the only thing that kept me trying sometimes. if you trip up you've got hands waiting to help you back up, so go for it.

fill up the tanks and start studying maps. it'll be the best ride you've ever had.

[*insertusernamehere*]

Great advice all around. I've taken everyone's advice to heart and will be heading to Florida this month.. Migbt even drop my impressions of the places I visit in this thread for shits and giggles...

What part of Florida? You should def leave your impressions of FL.

[rherold9]

Yeah this is definitely a good thread on advice. Definitely get out. I made a random trip before my internship started to NJ/NY all by myself to explore. I used my brothers wifes best friend as a place to stay. It was one of the best decisions I've ever made.

For real though Shia is right just do it. Go out there and don't be afraid of what's ahead. Get out of your comfort zone.

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[Senor_Taylor]

All of this advice to just go and travel is nice, but I feel like it's not applicable to a lot of people. That's a lot of money and time that some people don't have. Especially when trying to find what to do right after college?

[BLINGMW]

The implication is that the places you might travel too would also have jobs that could convert your time to money for goods and services....

[CaptainHenreh]

The implication is that the places you might travel too would also have jobs that could convert your time to money for goods and services....

Easy now. Adam Smith he ain't, ok?

[Senor_Taylor]

I guess I have a different definition of what "Vacation time" means?

[WRXtranceformed]

All of this advice to just go and travel is nice, but I feel like it's not applicable to a lot of people. That's a lot of money and time that some people don't have. Especially when trying to find what to do right after college?

Why does that not apply to a lot of people? You can travel on almost any budget, just plan out a trip you can afford.

If you feel like you don't have time now, wait until you are married and have kids. A lot of you guys are still so young and have very few real responsibilities right now...now is the BEST time to travel. :dunno:

[G.Irish]

Figure out what it is you enjoy doing. Then shape your life around making it easier to do more of that.

You don't really know what you enjoy doing? Get out and try a bunch of stuff you've been curious about, whatever that may be. I always wanted to track bikes, so I bought a bike and started tracking. I got interested in snowboarding again so I started doing that. I like to travel so I worked towards being able to take a month long trip every few years and several other shorter trips. I had already chosen Computer Science because I enjoyed doing it in high school and it had great job prospects. I had wanted to be a biologist or artist but ruled both of those out because the job markets for both are far worse.

As far as living somewhere else, I lived in Hawaii from 1 to 6 years old, and I lived in Panama from 5th through 11th grade. Living abroad is an experience that can give you a different perspective on a lot of things depending on where you go. I think you would get a lot out of it, as long as you go to a place that allows you to do several things you like to do. If sampling different cultures and locales is your thing, setting up shop in Europe would be best. From any place in Europe a whole 'nother country with a differnt language is usually a short train or plane ride away.

If you're looking for the friendly, laid back life-style, maybe somewhere in Latin America or the Caribbean would be the way to go. Stuff is a lot cheaper in those parts, you get tropical weather, and there's a whole different type of outdoorsy stuff to do (scuba/snorkel, surfing, jungle hiking, sailing, etc.). Parts of Asia will get you this too, although it's a lot more expensive to get out there. Australia and New Zealand are awesome (in their own ways) but they're a bit pricier. Upside is there's no language barrier.

If the travel budget is an issue, you can couch surf, stay at hostels, or house sit. Just do a little research on what level of comfort you require and what you can do budget-wise.

With the job, if you really dig into programming you'll be able to work remotely and pretty much live anywhere with a great connection. John did this for a year (while house-sitting) and traveled all around the world from Peru to Vietnam. The nice thing is that you can take a hit in pay but still live very well in a lot of low-cost of living places. You don't even have to stay that long, just get a tourist visa and hang out here and there for a month or two.

Whatever career you start with, identify the progress you want to make in that career and set yourself up to get there. Figure out what you need to do to advance and do that on your own, rather than wait for promotion. Choose jobs that advance your career and leave when a job is not helping you grow.

[*insertusernamehere*]

If the travel budget is an issue, you can couch surf, stay at hostels, or house sit. Just do a little research on what level of comfort you require and what you can do budget-wise.

If you're willing to take the risk.... airbnb.com

[Tyler.M]

The implication is that the places you might travel too would also have jobs that could convert your time to money for goods and services....

Easy now. Adam Smith he ain't, ok?

hey now, im all about some invisible hands.

im always very careful when it comes to employment. i've been gainfully employed since i was 15 and i'm pretty good with money. it would be nice to have a job to go to or to be some sort of freelance developer of some sort that allowed me mobility to move. also, i hate renting so i'd probably want to buy if i was planning to stay over 6 months

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[Tyler.M]

btw Gerald, I think computer science is what I'm going to move to. the job prospects would give me so much flexibiliyy and options. quick look on indeed for cali or east coast cities all are looking fir developers and it guys.

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[Jake]

also, i hate renting so i'd probably want to buy if i was planning to stay over 6 months

Dad's always told me to only buy if you're planning on owning the place for ~5 years. Renting gives you the freedom to up and leave whenever you want.

[D_Eclipse9916]

also, i hate renting so i'd probably want to buy if i was planning to stay over 6 months

Dad's always told me to only buy if you're planning on owning the place for ~5 years. Renting gives you the freedom to up and leave whenever you want.

Tyler has also not sold a house before I assume? Fucking ouch, it's cheap to buy, expensive to sell.

Edit: I don't have any advice for you. It seems like you have not found something to REALLY motivate you. Have you tried doing something out of the box that doesn't directly benefit you? Like volunteer for working for something that you might have interest in?

Travelling makes some people happy, but not everyone happy. I don't enjoy just moving to..move. My vacations typically involve doing something or lots of things. Keep trying, no one knows what they are doing, just following what makes them happy or trying.

[JPolen01]

also, i hate renting so i'd probably want to buy if i was planning to stay over 6 months

Dad's always told me to only buy if you're planning on owning the place for ~5 years. Renting gives you the freedom to up and leave whenever you want.

One of my business professors said if you want to buy you need to stay 3 years or your going to lose money on realtor fees when selling. Buying a house for 1-2 years is a bad investment.