Lost After Graduation

[Apoc]

I worry that my mom couldn't handle it. She gets squeamish when I mention moving away after college.

Live your life for yourself, not your parents or anyone else.

[Steve85]

^^Ha! Our daughter left Friday night, sooo many tears from the wife all weekend. Worried about hydration at this point...

Look, they'll get over it. Most of us have done it to our parents. It's a short term selfish sadness combined with a bit of fear of whether you've done enough and a pinch of "why the hell are you not still still in first grade". But ultimately, they want to see you fly.

[JPolen01]

I worry that my mom couldn't handle it. She gets squeamish when I mention moving away after college.

Live your life for yourself, not your parents or anyone else.

This. It sounds awful, but you have to rip the band aid quick. When I moved out, my mom was so upset. Now that I live around the corner she expects me to drop whatever I am doing if she needs something and jet over to their house to help. Sometimes I have to say no just to get her to realize I don't live there anymore and I have my own life. My dad realizes this, but I think my mom still wishes I lived there.

Don't worry if you don't know what you want to do yet in life. The 1st semester of my senior year, I had no clue what I wanted to do. I started applying for random jobs, had a few interviews, and lucked out when I got the offer for the job I am in. Sitting at a desk all day sucks, but I am surrounded by awesome people, have a great boss, and make pretty good money for the amount of work I do. Your first job might not be something you love or where you see yourself forever - don't sweat it. People our age are switching jobs every 2-3 years now - practically unheard of for our parents generation. If you get an opportunity to move somewhere for work and you want to try something new, do it. Your family will understand you need to do what's best for you.

Sometimes I wish we didn't buy a house so we could just up and leave if an opportunity arose, but Emily has the same fear of not being near her family.

[Senor_Taylor]

Thanks for the advice guys. Definitely eases my mind a bit.

[Mike]

how do you just leave your friends and family like that?

planes plus there are other nice people in the world.

[Mike]

I worry that my mom couldn't handle it. She gets squeamish when I mention moving away after college.

Live your life for yourself, not your parents or anyone else.

yep, or you'll be 50 and wonder where the eff your life went.

[Evan]

Gonna disagree with Evan a little, not that he doesn't have a point but with a change in scenery comes a change in perspective. I think especially for Tyler this would be helpful, as I said, he has no danger, no need he can't fulfill here, and he is happy to walk among the slack jawed dim eyed millennial rank and file.

Thats a fair point, and it sounds like you know Tyler well enough to apply more specialized advice that apply to him personally.

The point that Im getting at really is that I think there is a trend to externalize blame for our circumstances into our surroundings, where it should be applied to ourselves. "If only X was better then my life would be great" etc etc


Ill pose another question though, was is no danger and no need that cannot be fulfilled a bad thing? Shouldnt we be content with not being in danger and having our needs fulfiled? Thats certainly the primary goal in life (after bangin') of our ancestors.
Is it really fair to expect a constant stream of just-what-i-asked-for stimulation in order to have a "fulfilled" life?

[Evan]

-1

Moving changed my life a million times the better - it forced me to actually prioritize my life and work towards what was important to me. Listlessness is a symptom of unhappiness with your situation and lack of a challenge. Higher consequence is exactly what some people need... especially when everything has come relatively easy.

TL;DR - some privileged white kids need the safety net yanked to force them to grow up

You had a career, a job and a wife. You didnt pull out your saftey net, introduce danger, or risk anything.
Thats called moving. Its great that you found the place you like better, but lets not feign bravery and danger over it, at least in the degree that Rex was talking.

[Evan]

Also, you guys should def live in Idaho. It's like the PacNW, but without the liberals.

yes!
We also love Wyoming and Montana.

too damn cold to live there year round though

[Mike]

Idaho, a beautiful land marred by Great Hate. Evan definitely belongs there. Think how happy the Lotus would be getting to stretch its legs!

[CaptainHenreh]

The point that Im getting at really is that I think there is a trend to externalize blame for our circumstances into our surroundings, where it should be applied to ourselves. "If only X was better then my life would be great" etc etc

Ill pose another question though, was is no danger and no need that cannot be fulfilled a bad thing? Shouldnt we be content with not being in danger and having our needs fulfiled? Thats certainly the primary goal in life (after bangin') of our ancestors.
Is it really fair to expect a constant stream of just-what-i-asked-for stimulation in order to have a "fulfilled" life?

I agree with you 100%, change comes from within, etc. I was pretty careful not to try to imply that there was some external problem with Tyler's life...I assure you he lives one that 95% of the would would literally murder to live.

And I'm with you on no danger = no problem too. But you have to be satisfied with that. Life is far too brief to live it unhappily, so you should love your life or change it up. Probably not what Jesus meant, but it's applicable: What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?

No one can make this decision for him, and I do not think that moving away, on its own, will MAKE him (or anyone else) happy. Doesn't work that way. But I do believe that if a change is needed (and clearly, there is) and you don't know what to change...your surroundings are a great start.

[CaptainHenreh]

Also, you guys should def live in Idaho. It's like the PacNW, but without the liberals.

yes!
We also love Wyoming and Montana.

too damn cold to live there year round though

I was a fan of Colorado for the brief time I lived there. Beautiful country, shame about the gun stuff.

[Apoc]

You didnt pull out your saftey net, introduce danger, or risk anything.

We were on one income and I wanted to quit my job every day for the first year, but couldn't afford it. I've seen countless people relocate back home in my 3.5 years here, so I'm going to wholeheartedly disagree. Like I said, I'm not advocating living like a gypsy... but there's a lot more to uprooting your life and being 2500 miles away from everyone you know than just moving your things to a different place.

edit: Also, my wife was in VA for eight of the first 16 months.

[WRXtranceformed]

Also, you guys should def live in Idaho. It's like the PacNW, but without the liberals.

yes!
We also love Wyoming and Montana.

too damn cold to live there year round though

That's what my wife is struggling with and I would probably struggle with too. My blood has thinned out having lived in the south for so long. Some of the most beautiful country I have ever seen up that way, some of the nicest most genuine people you will ever meet and some seriously awesome driving roads...but brutal cold.

[Apoc]

Coeur d'Alene and DC don't look that different to me. <10° difference in the winter. :dunno:

[WRXtranceformed]

Looking at the average mins and maxes for the town we looked at, which is 1.5hrs south of CDE, it's significantly colder and darker for more of the year when compared to Charlotte. Average annual snowfall is 49" vs. less than 5" in CLT. 7 weeks less of average sunny days. I can't do long, dark winters man they affect me in the worst way. There is a massive difference in climate even between CLT and DC; there were a lot of times we were out golfing while you all are digging your cars out of snow.

[Mike]

My blood has thinned out having lived in the south for so long.

No, it hasn't.

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[Apoc]

I always assumed it was a figure of speech for becoming a wussy*.

*Full Disclosure: I moved, in part, because I hated DC summers.

[WRXtranceformed]

My blood has thinned out having lived in the south for so long.

No, it hasn't.

<!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="http://www.cosmictap.com/do-warm-climates-really-thin-your-blood/">http://www.cosmictap.com/do-warm-climat ... our-blood/</a><!-- m -->

:lol: :lol:

Yeah I am an admitted pussy in cold weather now, you really get spoiled with long warm falls and springs.

[Apoc]

Is it really fair to expect a constant stream of just-what-i-asked-for stimulation in order to have a "fulfilled" life?

And I'm with you on no danger = no problem too. But you have to be satisfied with that. Life is far too brief to live it unhappily, so you should love your life or change it up. Probably not what Jesus meant, but it's applicable: What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?

I don't think anyone is saying he should look for the perfect place where all his wishes are granted. I know NoVA made me quite unhappy because of the traffic, weather, and just how damn angry everyone was. I had a good job and a big house, but that didn't mean shit because it was in the wrong place. I got sucked into the competition and it impacted my quality of life. I've heard the same thing from people who relocated to the west coast from the area.

I agree change always comes from within, but it helps a whole helluva lot when you're being stimulated in ways that make you happy (snicker) versus ways that don't. Physical change often invigorates people to make internal changes in themselves. Like people who get fit after they get divorced. :lol: I'm not advocating the west coast as fixing all the world's problems... because it's just as easily miserable here for someone who doesn't like the lifestyle... but it certainly changed me for the better. I think Rex can attest to that.