Lost After Graduation

[WRXtranceformed]

Rex's statement was admittedly awesome and I do actually know people who took that advice, went with it and never looked back. One was a buddy who had a well-paying job out of college doing something in accounting in DC. One day he got sick of corporate life, so he quit his job on a Friday, sold or gave away all of his stuff that weekend and bought a one-way ticket to Hawaii. He has been living in banana fields or out of a van he bought, surfing every day and doing odd jobs like working on cruise ships. Dude seems happy but that's not the answer for 99% of people out there.

Motivation is something that you are born with inherently, are taught growing up or gain from experiences, or have to learn and instill in yourself if none of the prior apply. If you aren't motivated to do anything then look to my advice in the prior post.

[Tyler.M]

I think Rex knows me better than I thought he did. Either that means I'm predicatable or Rex has good intuition or both. The mohawked man has a good point. I got it made here which makes shit difficult. Just seemed like the "smart" move in terms of finances and risk.

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[Tyler.M]

Hey I got an idea.

How about you quit buying bikes and cars and selling them after 2 weeks, put on your big girl panties and grow the fuck up.

"Woe is me, I have no direction..." Wrong. You have no motivation. Because you don't have to have any. You've got a cushy setup in the town you've always lived in, two years with a lover who doesn't challenge you in any way, and literally nothing to worry about ever. No fears. No sword hanging above your head. You could live your whole life and die not 10 miles from where you stand, starting right now, and never be in an ounce of discomfort.

Fuck that noise. Sell everything you own. Buy two nice made to measure suits and some decent traveling gear. Go someplace with no safety net. Someplace that scares you. Leave the country. Go to China, go to Australia. Go to Canada, fuck it. Too scary? Hit the west coast. Go to Texas. Anywhere but here. Stick it out for a year. No "too cold" no "too hot" no "too many people" no "too few goats".

You're 25. Don't know what to do with your life. Here's a fucking clue: None of the rest of us do, either. I'm 32, my life has completely changed 3 times in the past 5 years. Just, everything I knew to be true is now totally unreliable. If you're looking for some goddam "In hoc signo vinces" written in the fucking sky you'll be waiting until you're dead.

Fucking GO. Anywhere.

Call an air force recruiter. Call a corporate headhunter. Go learn to weld and fuckin work on the keystone pipeline. I don't actually give a shit but for once in your life sieze the agency Your Creator granted you and be your own fuckin' man.

ps, never can have too many grass eating, soul stealing goats and the 919 is slower than my r6. ENTIRE ARGUMENT INVALIDATED

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[Steve85]

Wow...this post as we are preparing to move our lost 25 yr old daughter to Norman OK because she has bills to pay and decided to quit a job she didn't like 7 months ago. She's spent the last 7 months living at home looking for a job with an ever increasing gap in employment and a Poli Sci degree. She doesn't want to go to OK, but she has no other options right now. She's not followed a single bit of our advice so while she isn't happy about going to OK, I have little sympathy at this point.

She was able to quit her job because she knew she could stay at home. Quit...instead of using the company's willingness to pay for school / training and develop new skills for a new job and direction. I think Rex and Evan are both right for the motivation reasons Lee mentioned. Just leaving with no real plan or means to support yourself can be a disaster, but at least having a starting point and leaving the comfort and security behind is what some people need to find motivation or direction or what they're made of, whatever it is they need to move forward. If she doesn't like what she's doing, she will need to develop a plan because there is no fairy to fill the refrigerator every Saturday. She needs means, but she also needs the dagger over her head. Hopefully one day she will find it in herself to reach up, grab it and wield it at life.

Now to the back porch and plan her trip to OK...she leaves tomorrow. (Unless she gets a call from another job in Richmond)

[Tyler.M]

Wow...this post as we are preparing to move our lost 25 yr old daughter to Norman OK because she has bills to pay and decided to quit a job she didn't like 7 months ago. She's spent the last 7 months living at home looking for a job with an ever increasing gap in employment and a Poli Sci degree. She doesn't want to go to OK, but she has no other options right now. She's not followed a single bit of our advice so while she isn't happy about going to OK, I have little sympathy at this point.

She was able to quit her job because she knew she could stay at home. Quit...instead of using the company's willingness to pay for school / training and develop new skills for a new job and direction. I think Rex and Evan are both right for the motivation reasons Lee mentioned. Just leaving with no real plan or means to support yourself can be a disaster, but at least having a starting point and leaving the comfort and security behind is what some people need to find motivation or direction or what they're made of, whatever it is they need to move forward. If she doesn't like what she's doing, she will need to develop a plan because there is no fairy to fill the refrigerator every Saturday. She needs means, but she also needs the dagger over her head. Hopefully one day she will find it in herself to reach up, grab it and wield it at life.

Now to the back porch and plan her trip to OK...she leaves tomorrow. (Unless she gets a call from another job in Richmond)

Pertinent. my sister is a musical theater major and sitting in a similar situation. The only thing I can sat for myself is that by staying here I've been able to buy a house and pay my way. Since I was 14 I''ve never been unemployed and I've gotten every job I applied for except two. Basically, Rex is right. This place is really fucking safe for me and its not really a good thing.

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[Sully]

I'm a year out. Took me a year to even find a job I would accept which means make more or the same as I did when I was part time at Harrisonburg Transit which was $13.90 an hour so not too high of expectations. Well after a year of kind of looking, I found a job that pays more but it's way more physical labor and it's just a job. I'm not going to deliver beer for the rest of my life but idk where I want or even could go career wise right now. If I haven't moved to a management position within a year of my start date which was a May, I'll be moving on somehow, somewhere. I would like to move to management soon so I can get it on my resume because no one wants to hire anyone without experience.

But right now I start work anywhere from 3:00 am (occasionally) to 7 am and finish anywhere from 3:00pm to 7:00pm (usually) which would be great for overtime but now they're cutting ( making me on call which is even worse cause I'm still committed) me one day a week so I don't even get the overtime anymore. Oh and i don't know what time i have to start until 7:30 the night before. I went from harrisonburg transit where you get an hour paid lunch break and the work was literally sitting on my ass and driving around to my new company where they deduct half an hour of pay, which is fine except for the fact you never actually get a break and if you took one, you'd make yourself late on your route and miss time windows. I'm also super slow or they have super unrealistic expectations because I'm always running behind which definitely takes its toll on me because I'm a very timely person and get extremely stressed about being late to anything.

So, yea tl;dr, a year out of school and I'm working the most physically demanding job I've ever had that's no where near a 9 to 5 or anything remotely structured. Definitely don't plan to settle here at least not in my current position but no plan what I'm going to or even could do.

[Apoc]

It would sound great in a buzzfeed article or an inspirational poster.
Going someplace else just for the sake of being someplace else makes you aimless and unmotivated in a different zip code and with higher consequence of failure.
At the end of it, youre back where you started,older, poorer and still dont know what you want to do. The answer is not in your surroundings, it is in you. Sorry if thats not as fuzzy-warm-feeling quote worthy.

-1

Moving changed my life a million times the better - it forced me to actually prioritize my life and work towards what was important to me. Listlessness is a symptom of unhappiness with your situation and lack of a challenge. Higher consequence is exactly what some people need... especially when everything has come relatively easy.

TL;DR - some privileged white kids need the safety net yanked to force them to grow up

[WRXtranceformed]

It would sound great in a buzzfeed article or an inspirational poster.
Going someplace else just for the sake of being someplace else makes you aimless and unmotivated in a different zip code and with higher consequence of failure.
At the end of it, youre back where you started,older, poorer and still dont know what you want to do. The answer is not in your surroundings, it is in you. Sorry if thats not as fuzzy-warm-feeling quote worthy.

-1

Moving changed my life a million times the better - it forced me to actually prioritize my life and work towards what was important to me. Listlessness is a symptom of unhappiness with your situation and lack of a challenge. Higher consequence is exactly what some people need... especially when everything has come relatively easy.

TL;DR - some privileged white kids need the safety net yanked to force them to grow up

Yeah but you had already accepted your job with Amazon before you guys sold your house and moved right? Or am I wrong on that. That's a big difference when compared to just selling all your stuff and leaving with no real plan.

I agree that moving out of my home town was one of the best things I ever did. I love Charlotte but I'm even to the point of being a little restless with this area. Fortunately I could do my current job as long as I'm within driving distance of an airport so I am definitely not opposed to a change of scenery. We've talked about ending up in Raleigh, Atlanta, Idaho (my wife hates this idea) or even Texasss. Those are my people down there

[rherold9]

Hey I got an idea.

How about you quit buying bikes and cars and selling them after 2 weeks, put on your big girl panties and grow the fuck up.

"Woe is me, I have no direction..." Wrong. You have no motivation. Because you don't have to have any. You've got a cushy setup in the town you've always lived in, two years with a lover who doesn't challenge you in any way, and literally nothing to worry about ever. No fears. No sword hanging above your head. You could live your whole life and die not 10 miles from where you stand, starting right now, and never be in an ounce of discomfort.

Fuck that noise. Sell everything you own. Buy two nice made to measure suits and some decent traveling gear. Go someplace with no safety net. Someplace that scares you. Leave the country. Go to China, go to Australia. Go to Canada, fuck it. Too scary? Hit the west coast. Go to Texas. Anywhere but here. Stick it out for a year. No "too cold" no "too hot" no "too many people" no "too few goats".

You're 25. Don't know what to do with your life. Here's a fucking clue: None of the rest of us do, either. I'm 32, my life has completely changed 3 times in the past 5 years. Just, everything I knew to be true is now totally unreliable. If you're looking for some goddam "In hoc signo vinces" written in the fucking sky you'll be waiting until you're dead.

Fucking GO. Anywhere.

Call an air force recruiter. Call a corporate headhunter. Go learn to weld and fuckin work on the keystone pipeline. I don't actually give a shit but for once in your life sieze the agency Your Creator granted you and be your own fuckin' man.

[youtube]nuHfVn_cfHU[/youtube]

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[Apoc]

Moving changed my life a million times the better - it forced me to actually prioritize my life and work towards what was important to me. Listlessness is a symptom of unhappiness with your situation and lack of a challenge. Higher consequence is exactly what some people need... especially when everything has come relatively easy.

TL;DR - some privileged white kids need the safety net yanked to force them to grow up

Yeah but you had already accepted your job with Amazon before you guys sold your house and moved right? Or am I wrong on that. That's a big difference when compared to just selling all your stuff and leaving with no real plan.

I agree that moving out of my home town was one of the best things I ever did. I love Charlotte but I'm even to the point of being a little restless with this area. Fortunately I could do my current job as long as I'm within driving distance of an airport so I am definitely not opposed to a change of scenery. We've talked about ending up in Raleigh, Atlanta, Idaho (my wife hates this idea) or even Texasss. Those are my people down there

I had... but I we were already looking at uprooting our lives and moving to a place like CO. The reason we ended up in Seattle is because Amazon called when the wife has two semesters of grad school left. After that, we were gonna GTFO. I'm not advocating living like a gypsy, but I don't agree that moving somewhere else without a real plan just makes you broke in a different place. All you really need is a decent way to shelter and feed yourself and you can figure the rest out when you get there.

Also, you guys should def live in Idaho. It's like the PacNW, but without the liberals.

[Tyler.M]

Moving is a must for me. I'm a 4th generation Rocktown resident. My Mom went to JMU. My Sister went to JMU. My Grandma went to JMU. I come from a bloodline of people that put their roots in thick here and just never seem to let go. This isn't a necessarily bad thing... I know I'll probably return here once I leave and there's something comforting in that, but I haven't been my own person and I can't be. If any of you have ever had a discussion with me regarding any choices I've had to make, from cars to jobs, I overthink it all. I've spent this year breaking myself of that habit and just making a decision. I've always wanted to move but where the fuck do I go, who do I go with and what takes me there? That's my next decision to make. Not an easy one but the big one of deciding to move has always been there. As Rex alluded to, the Air Force always seemed intriguing but I don't think my GPA would cut it for officer status. I'd have to do enlisted but I think I'd get a slight bump in rank which is fine by me. Just moving is another option but I don't have any hardskills yet that look good on a piece of paper, making living a little difficult. Rex and Dave recommended I start some programming classes a few months ago and I've been doing that on and off. Even looking into teaching in China or some other part of Asia for a few years just because. I guess my problem is that there are so many options and so many things I'd like to do, but such time to do it. How do I focus on one thing when I have a million other things that seem interesting to me that are options to? Tough call.

[Senor_Taylor]

Bookmarking this thread so I can look at it in 2 years. I don't understand how y'all just move away. I think about how few IT jobs are in Lynchburg, but how do you just leave your friends and family like that?

[Apoc]

Bookmarking this thread so I can look at it in 2 years. I don't understand how y'all just move away. I think about how few IT jobs are in Lynchburg, but how do you just leave your friends and family like that?

I left most of my friends in Philly, when I moved back home. The ones I saw with any regulsrity in Nova have moved or are talking about it anyway. My family... well, I couldn't move far enough.

You make new ones. Of both.

[Jake]

Bookmarking this thread so I can look at it in 2 years. I don't understand how y'all just move away. I think about how few IT jobs are in Lynchburg, but how do you just leave your friends and family like that?

Because you can visit your family, and as you progress through college you'll likely realize that a lot of your high school friends were "friends" out of convenience, rather than mutual interests/common ideals.

And no, there aren't likely a ton of IT jobs in Lynchburg. Go where the jobs are, that's a good point. You will make friends wherever you are.

[Senor_Taylor]

What a pickle to be in. I hate the city. I guess I picked the wrong field then

[rherold9]

What a pickle to be in. I hate the city. I guess I picked the wrong field then

Richmond. You can have both.

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[WRXtranceformed]

Go work for Walmart IT in Bentonville. That's grown up a lot since the one-stoplight town it was but probably still pretty rural. There are a surprising number of IT centers in rural areas, mostly due to company talent oversight during the site selection process.

Shoot, you could move down here and work for Lowe's IT group and grab some land up in the rural part of Mooresville or near Lake Norman. And you're close to a big city, a short drive to the airport or a 3 and a half hour drive back home.

[Senor_Taylor]

We'll see where the wind takes me in a couple years. Anyway, I feel like I'm shifting the focus of this thread right now, sorry.

[Tyler.M]

We'll see where the wind takes me in a couple years. Anyway, I feel like I'm shifting the focus of this thread right now, sorry.

I don't think so, it's a good question to ask. I'm pretty close to my family and it's tough to consider not being around them on a weekly basis.

[Senor_Taylor]

It sounds terrible. I could definitely go a long time without seeing family, but I worry that my mom couldn't handle it. She gets squeamish when I mention moving away after college.