Merry Christmas

[G.Irish]

The story of Alvis:

a wagon appeared at the gates of Fort Klugman
carrying pioneers to the frontier.
A young woman in the party called Delia was heavy with child
and though she had journeyed with the virile young men for nigh on one year,
none had lain with her; though she was comely.
And on this frosty winter's night, young Delia's water broke
almost freezing her to the seat of the wagon.
And the pioneers beseeched the soldiers to grant them entrance
so that she could give birth to her child in the hospital there.
But, due to an outbreak of syphilis among the soldiers, the hospital was full.
So there in the stable among the feed and tack and whatsit she gave birth to a son
whom she called Alvis. As was her want.
And since none of the men in the party was the father,
it was decided among them that the birth of this child must truly be a miracle!
And it was so, for above the fort there suddenly and miraculously appeared an awesome and mighty comet!
And so brilliant was its light that there came from all the tribes that the soldiers had not yet decimated:
shamens!
And they rode upon buffalo, as was their heathen custom, carrying offerings of whiskey and firearms.
And when the shamens saw the child, they were in awe! For he glowed in a light that was truly not of this world!

Next year I propose we have a Feast of Alvis party. I'll bring the ham and firearms.