You know what really grinds my gears?!

[G.Irish]

So if I have a hard time carrying around this massive dack in my pants, do I qualify for a closer parking spot? Should I maybe raise a concern about a lack of close parking signage indicating "Parking for Dudes With Big Dacks"?

Well, if you've got a 6-9 lb penis you've probably got elephantiasis. Elephantiasis in the genitals would be extremely painful (and grotesque) so I would be in favor of special parking spaces for those afflicted with pachyderm penis.

IMO, reserved spots should be for people who at a disadvantage through circumstance. If pregnant women have reserved spots, do I get one too because I'm fat? They're both physically demanding.

Both involve a choice, but one is a choice that is required for the survival of the human race. And really, giving overweight people a space closer to the door isn't helping them anyway.

Spaces for pregnant women aren't really an entitlement or a sign of the wussification of America to me. It's just businesses trying to make a nice gesture towards pregnant women that they hope will be appreciated and result in more business. When someone tries to make pregnancy spaces the law of the land, that's when you should be worried.

I can't really get worked up about losing one or two spaces at the grocery store. A woman is pregnant for 9 months and only the last few are particularly difficult for getting around. Someone is only 3 months along don't need no parking space. But I'm not gonna get salty about that. Same deal with spaces for veterans. The vast majority of people who serve in the military never go into harm's way to put the mushroom stamp of freedom on the foreheads of our enemies. But if some business wants to give military free parking spaces or some discount or whatever, have at it. Why does everyone have to be mad that some people get a small perk that you don't get?